Dienstag, 7. März 2017



by Constantin von Hoffmeister

sunshine on Elba:

carriages drawn on paper
cigarettes pulled out of drawers
Napoleon ate a bad egg
now his stomach hurt
he scratched his head
and wondered if Josephine would come back and wash his undershirt
he liked it if she did not shower for days
her raw smell tickled his intestines
he decided to smoke a pipe and think about this
once, when he was young, he was happy
his defeat at Waterloo made him ponder the meaning of existence
did his horse just die on the battlefield and fall on the ground under him?
did the indians mutiny because of pig fat?
or did they decide that it was time to be influenced by the malign spirit of
when was the last time he had a cup of tea?
why always eat biscuits with tea?
why not a bagel with cream cheese?
that could be had in New York, Napoleon thought
but would they let him emigrate to America, the land of freedom and waste
empty spaces and very very high mountains?
he simply did not know
Napoleon decided to write a letter to the authorities in charge to find out
then the doorbell rang
(rung by a person outside)
the phone rang
and somebody knocked on the door
lightning struck twice
Napoleon was reduced to ashes
his dog barked in the distance
a wolf howled at the moon in the fog of London
at midnight
vanished or so Jack the Ripper thought
and Jack the Ripper felt that once he had been someone else
a mighty warrior on battlefields from Spain to Russia
second prostitute's throat slashed
and Jack the Ripper could only think of the sweet fishy smell of Josephine's
and Patrick Bateman woke up
a dead prostitute with a dead rat inside her next to him in the bed
he was hungry and felt like walking over to Rudy Goldstein's
to get a nice fresh bagel with cream cheese
the morning smiled
and the sun was happy

September 6, 2008

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