Dienstag, 10. März 2015

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS REVIEW

by Constantin von Hoffmeister


Part I

jewish avengers
slavic avengers
accents similar
and faces southern
the movie the mother of all simulacra
nothing real
everything permitted
including omission of rigorous training sequence
the dirty dozen trained to kill
not action figures out of a box
basterds kikes
kosher porn
nazis beaten with baseball bat
death to revisionists!
a map behind hitler shows
soviet union all nazi occupied
communists are not mentioned
for tarantino they do not exist
tolstoy in his grave turns
nation's pride
the film within the film presents some heroic scenes
the shooting of americans by brave german soul
but the bad german souls stabbed and beaten and shot
nazis hunted and nazism finished
exterminated by avenging angels
jewish basterds
but not all the basterds' victims are nazis
some merely german soldiers following orders
where is the justice in not taking prisoners?
how does a german order three whiskies?
two fingers and a thumb
is the thumb not a finger in the US?
is the thumb a smaller glass of whisky?
to give away more than one can handle of the truth
the french farm house 
morricone music
could have been somewhere in the wild west
the french man after cutting wood
speaks english but succumbs and cries
witnessing wanton cruelty of hollywood nazi beasts
hitler mowed down
the cinema shows
inside a cinema
what a real fire looks like

Part II

the SS man speaks many languages
the basterd makes a typical italian hand movement
but the SS man speaks fluent italian
that is an embarassment!
the token negro smokes
and kisses the blond french woman
black on white tarantino's nigga obsession
the nigga a french man the white woman says
modern liberal paradigm in war time france?
once upon a time it says
but then 1941
that is rather well defined!
(once upon a time i smoked opium in the attic
fell asleep and dreamt of electric rose petals)
fredrick zoller no aryan archetype
should have used a blond beast instead 
and not this central european mixed look
knife carving foreheads
singing beer and drinking songs
multilingual 
but one language to rule them all
arrivederci with thick thick american accent
a glimpse of the monolingual primitivism of the future?
cultured SS officers as resistance fighters
against the tide of unilingual monotony?
or the basterds the saviors of a france
destined by the nazis to become german speaking?
france remains french because of basterd intervention!
a french speaking nigga is more french 
than doggy styling monoglot goebbels
the bat shall smash the skull!
in gotham the bat uses no weapon at all

Part III

a damp cellar beneath the Tower of London:
two beggars are chained to a wet wall
water is dripping incessantly on their heads
they had escaped the hell of hitler's war
two nazis on the run
begging on leicester square
picked up by the bobbies
their warden always mocks them
tells them of the basterds' exploits
on the continent
"ah, them basterds give them nazis a fine lickin'!"
and the war ended a year earlier
because of the basterds
tarantino creator of parallel universe
the nazi beggars ended up cleaning lavatories
in the palace of poverty
at the paris cinema riefenstahl film
then a change of program
boom!
apocalypse in the cinema
the nation's pride spelt the nation's doom

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